WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY LIFE FOR HARMONIC MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL LIFE?
 

Dr. David Frawley:  In yogic thought there are four stages of life, the childhood phase (Brahmacharya), the householder phase (Grihastha), retirement in nature (Vanaprastha) and the renunciate (Sannyasa). It is said that the householder stage where one raises a family and provides for others is the most important, that it is the very pillar and foundation for all the rest. It is the Lakshmi phase through which all the other stages of life are cared for. So it is central for the health of society.

At an individual level there are two approaches to the spiritual life reflecting these. The first is the monastic, renunciate or sadhu tradition in which one gives up all family life, which emphasizes the fourth stage of life. The second is householder tradition in which one continues with the family life but does spiritual practices along with it.

In the Hindu religion, monks and priests are different and also reflect these two roles. Monks renounce the world and generally do not participate in ceremonies or perform priestly roles, except as special attendees. Priests are part of the society and marry and have children. Yet those who are not priests also are expected to marry and contribute to the welfare of the society. For the performance of Hindu and Vedic rituals both the husband and wife are required.

Besides the tradition of Swami and monastic gurus, we see that there is also a tradition of householder gurus. Notable in this regard were Sri Ramakrishna, who was a also a temple priest, Lahiri Mahashaya, the guru of Paramahansa Yogananda’s guru, and Lord Krishna himself. The old Rishi tradition of India was also primarily a householder tradition.

Yet these two traditions, the monk and the priest, often overlap. Many Swamis were married in their earlier years. Many householder gurus go off for long periods of solitude.

Both ways are valid. Generally, the householder approach is easier and more common. Even in ancient India there were always fewer monks than householder disciples. Today the monastic approach is yet more difficult as all over the world, the monastic orders and their means of funding are in decline. So generally the householder approach is the safest and best to follow. However, this does require that regular worship goes on in the home in order to make it into a temple, as well as the performance of Yoga and meditation.

So the family is essential for the material and spiritual welfare of society. It also provides a spiritual path in itself.

 
 
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT POLYGAMIC RELATIONSHIPS?

 
Dr. David Frawley: Monogamy is the norm and is generally the best for everyone but some exceptions can occur. There are instances in Hindu thought of polygamy. Krishna had more than one wife.  Polygamy also has existed in various religious traditions and in various aristocratic classes. However, polygamy has legal and other issues in the modern world. It is very psychologically complicated as well.

The main rule is that there must be respect in relationship, a sense of the sacred, a looking at each person according to their divine or soul essence, not just as a means of personal gratification or social advancement. This can be easier to do in monogamy that reflects a one to one relationship.

 
 HOW DO YOU THINK IT IS POSSIBLE TO MAKE MARRIAGE LIFE HAPPIER?

Dr. David Frawley: The two partners should share the same spiritual path and aspiration. They should share in daily rituals and meditations, particularly some form of devotion that unites them at a heart level. They should be friends and respect one another. They should also be happy in the other person’s happiness and not compete with one another.

Much strain occurs upon relationship today because there is no longer an extended family or community to support and cushion the nuclear family. So being part of a spiritual community can help protect the family and marriage life.

In the modern world, we tend to be individuals first and only parts of a family or community second, if at all. We should reintegrate the family into larger social units.

Having a guru or spiritual guide to go to in order to deal with marriage issues is also important. The couple needs a common teacher both respect to help resolve differences between them that may arise.