Good day, Ramie, I ask you to please answer my letter, I need your help. My biggest problem is that I am not living in harmony with myself, with my soul, and, consequently with the world. I am a very spiritual, but closed person; it is as if I live in my own separate realm, unadjusted to the practical reality. Because of this are all my difficulties: inability to join a new company, I experience difficulties in contacting other people. I am very emotionally poor and cold, but inside- vulnerable and open to injury. Although from the outside sometimes I am even rude. Maybe it is a defense? I have an intensified sense of self-sacrifice, compassion and mercy. But the inability to find internal harmony oppresses me very much. Maybe it is because I did not realize myself in life? I toss about, wanting to try many things, but where is the way destined for me by fate? Please, tell me how I can find myself, how to become more open and free, more confident? How should I work at self-improvement? I suffer very much.

And another question: my husband and I do not fit each other- he is a very materialistic person, and I am- a very spiritual, I feel a lack of spirituality. What awaits me in my marriage? For I feel that he is not the one, who destined to me. Will I marry for the second time? How should I develop me spiritual world, to cleanse my karma? How to find myself in life? Which profession to choose? I beg you please help me! Thank you a lot for this column and for helping others.

With respect, E.

Hello dear E.! Everything you describe is seen very clearly in your chart: certain psychological crisis, and problems in private life. This is shown be the retrograde lord of the house of personality, which gives diffidence and split personality. Also the Moon, which just entered into the constellation of Danishtaha (it grants a person such qualities as generosity, compassion, ambition, and at the same time mistrustfulness and rudeness). There are also many other placements, which we will not discuss now. And it all is increased by the passing period of Rahu. But despite all the complicatedness of your inner problems, I am quite optimistic about you.

First of all there is nothing tragic- no invalidity, nor death of children, etc. secondly, one cannot overlook your level of spirituality and great desire to change. From my experience, after one or one and a half years, such a person can change completely and begin to live happily. For this end, you should first of all get rid of rudeness, for it will not bring any good, except for loosing friends, and for a sudden worsening of reputation.

Be careful with your speech, do not make any harsh judgments, answer after a long pause, and if you began to be rude to somebody, do not be embarrassed to ask forgiveness. And get used to smile to people, although in the beginning it may be insincere. You can defeat mistrustfulness and preoccupation with your problems, if you allow yourself to live according to a plan, and to indulge in self-criticism only in a certain time, spared for this purpose. It can be done for example, in the morning, when you write a plan for the day, or in the evening or a weekend, when you sum everything up. Also you should take with humor the scowls and any bad words, addressed to you, do not over-emphasize it.

You should develop an internal confidence. It is achieved by a correct outlook and by loving yourself, which we have frequently discussed. An internally confident person may be afraid of mice, or look unconfident, but if he says “no”, everyone understands that it will be so. But your real problem is something else- it is that you are too spiritual. I understand that it is a shocking statement for you, and I will try to explain. There are very materialistic people, whose goal in life is money, good food, high rank, a house, etc. For someone the goal of life is in spiritual things such as morals, a strict following some religious canons, ideals, future, etc. And this is even more dangerous than being a mere materialist, because the Universe teaches the materialistically minded person by depriving him of mundane benefits in this lifetime or maximum in the next, this way showing him that all the earthly things are perishable and temporary. Spirituality is the reverse of the medal, more subtle, but also more dangerous. Since in the beginning a person becomes more moral and noble, and the improvement of all the spheres of life fallows. But if the spirituality becomes the main goal of life, then serious problems begin, because simultaneously grows aggressiveness, pride, the sense of being above others, that your path is better, and that for this idea, or commandment you can do whatever you want, that the main thing is the future, for which you can disregard the present, etc. It is easy to see in life that the majority of wars were begun by religious men, and men with firm ideological principles. A few years ago I studied a religious psychology, and for the sake of practice, I have consulted only those, who have seriously followed any spiritual practice for a long period of time. I have noticed that these people usually had much more psychological and karmic problems than regular people, especially if their ways included the elements of mysticism. I even saw those, who ended in a mental institution, although in their destiny there should not be anything of that kind. Please, understand me correctly- I am not against spirituality, morals and religiousness, I am only for it! All I want to say is that it should not become the main goal of life. The main goal of life can be only the love of God. Any other goal is dangerous to us and to our loved ones, and it can just be the means for achieving the Divinity inside our soul. And the Divinity is an unconditioned love. The principles, the moral norms, and the ideals are different in every religion and society, and consequently, are relative. The absolute are only God and unconditioned love. In the “Mahabharata” and the puranas (ancient Indian epos) this question is widely discussed. For example, there is a story about one Indian saint, a righteous man who took a vow to tell only the truth. One time a group of definitely scared women and children ran pass him. Some time later, a gang of mobsters appeared, and they asked him, where the women and children ran. The saint has truthfully shown them the way. It is said that in the next life he was severely punished for it. And the reason is obvious- he lived not by love, but by high principles. You should definitely read books on this subject to understand it more thoroughly. From the Russian-speaking authors, as much as I know, S.N. Lazarev is the only one, who writes beautifully on this subject matter in his wonderful book “The diagnostics of karma”. The third and the fourth books are directly related to this subject, consequently, it is very important for you to read and work with them. Now let us discuss your private life. You write that your husband, as it seems to you, is not destined for you. I do not agree with this. First of all, your husband is very clearly seen in your chart. Secondly, there is nothing accidental, and the house of Spouse- is the most karmic house of the chart. You were “given” such a husband in order for you to learn how to love and respect your near-ones, regardless of their spiritual level. Try to accept him as he is. If you change- he will also change. The husband’s behavior depends on the inner state of his wife. But if you divorce, and you will be the initiator, than you will not “be given” any better husband. Rather than develop your spiritual world, you should fill it with love, then the question of karma will drop out. From the professional field what fits you the most is medicine (you may become a nurse), also you have a big talent for languages, and now it is a very good period for studying them (till 2007).

Personally I would like to add that your son will resemble you, with his multitude of talents he will be able to achieve many things in life. Your second child will also be a boy, and he has to appear before the year 2005. In two years there will be a very difficult period in all respects. But starting from 2007 everything will change for the better. After 24 years you will become the head of some religious, cultural institution, or will make a political career. But much water will flow until then. I hope that by that time your life will be based on the feeling of love in your soul, rather than on principles and ideals. And you will not worry much about the events of this, in some sense, illusory world. I wish you good luck.

Dear Ramie,

After I started reading your column a year ago, I began to really think about things, which before seemed obvious to me. Based on many of your answers, I began to form a completely different view of the world and of my own world too. Before I used to think that it is very dangerous to engage in self-analysis (on the example of the Russian classics), and that we should behave in a simpler way, and to accept the world as it is. Actually, I did not see this world. From all the philosophical theories, the visualization is the closest to me. Maybe it is because I am a woman, and my intuition is more developed. I could talk to different people; to the familiar, and even to completely unfamiliar. Maybe it only seemed so. One thing is for certain: my world has changed, and something appeared, which you can call God. I understand that it is strange to accept these subjects through women’s magazine, but it does not matter how a person begins to think and feel, the most important is that it has already happened. On the whole, this could be expressed in one word- thank you. Thank you for giving me a push. And now I would like to ask you to help me. I understand that there are many problems- as many as people. Most likely is that my problem is that I have changed, and my husband (the closest person to me) has not. Now we are at the edge of breaking all our relationships, and I have lost contact with him. It is very difficult for me to understand why. Maybe it is a middle-age crisis, or maybe from the very beginning we did not fit each other, and the crisis made it worse. It is hard for me since I am preoccupied with this. The thoughts go in circle the whole day. I do not know what to do. I have two small children, and they could remain fatherless. I ask you very much, please, help me to understand. It is very important for me.

L.

Thank you very much for your kind words. It inspires me very much that our column has changed the outlook of a significant number of people, and their lives have changed for the better. If one changes his outlook, then also a change in his character and behavior automatically occurs. Once a character is changed, the destiny also alters (Ideas give rise to an act. The act gives rise to a habit. A habit makes a character. And a character makes a destiny). I wholly share the opinion that the best help is that which brings a person closer to the Divine, helps to cleanse the consciousness and to develop and unconditional love. And if we succeed in it even a little, it makes us very happy.

Unfortunately, I am unable to answer the question regarding your personal life, since you did not send me the birth time of your husband, and without it, it is impossible to make a chart of your compatibility and to look at his karma regarding family life. I had to make the charts of your children in order to “find” their father, it is less accurate, but what can be done? It comes out that if you do not divorce until December this year, it is probably that you will never divorce. You should not divorce; it will not bring any good neither for you, nor for your children. Your Mars in the house of a spouse will always mar your family life, no matter with whom you will live. You can weaken him considerably by strengthening your beneficial Jupiter, which is wonderfully situated in the house of personality, aspecting the house of a spouse. For this end you should learn to be always optimistically disposed, to become friendlier, to perform activities for the benefit of others, or raising the level of consciousness in the world. Your preoccupation with this, and the fact that your “thoughts go around the whole day”- does not bring any good to anybody, it just makes things worse. First it is a psychological “headache”, and then it passes to a physical level. We have already repeatedly discussed that if a person constantly thinks about something with fear, he experiences loses in all respects, and he degrades spiritually, since the soul lives either by fear or by love. If the soul chooses fear, then a person sinks into a lower level of consciousness, and consequently, inherits lower forms of existence. Everyone knows about the harm of fear and anxiety to the psychological and physical health, and the most interesting thing is that we attract misfortunes and things that we fear of. Who will achieve a better result: a student, who studies for his exams with calmness and love, or one, who experiences stress by the mere thought of upcoming exam? Here is another example: a mother, who is in constant fear for her child sends a great charge of destructive energy, unlike the mother, who thinks about her child with love, sending him a great charge of happiness, support and protection. To sum up I should say that you should preserve your family. Do not be preoccupied with the thought that you and your husband are different. You should remember that it is a great (and unfortunately rare) blessing – to have such a spouse, who completely shares our views, and satisfies us in all respects. During many years I run the statistics, which is based on thousands of charts. The conclusion is that almost 90 percent of the westerners have a severely damaged house of spouse (a marriage), which awakes problems in family life.

Therefore, you should accept your husband as he is. Give more attention to the children, the job, find a good girlfriend, who will share your views, and the most important- continue to develop unconditioned love. Everything will be fine! Good luck.

Hello, dear Ramie. I am very grateful to you for your column “The destiny and me” because your answers- are not only to the questions of particular readers, they give an opportunity to contemplate on the meaning of life, and provoke the desire to understand something very important. For me this important thing is unconditional love, which you always write about. How to learn to live by unconditional love in our material world because we are so imperfect? We are already 4 years in Israel. Here our daughter was born- a miracle of miracles, because I was waiting for a child for a long time. It seemed that there is no hope, but in the depth of my soul a belief remained. My girl is already 2 years old. Everyday I thank God for this gift. As all the regular mothers, I want to raise her as a kind, intelligent person, to give her what is the most important. And as any regular woman (although I have many shortcomings), to have time to find myself, my place in the world, so that growing up my daughter will see a good example. Now I am as if in the dead end. Life goes by so fast, and I feel like standing in one place. The present situation is very difficult. I cannot find a job, and the time limit of my husband’s welfare will soon run out. Sometimes I think about living the country. Should we go away and where should we go? And if it is better for us to stay here, how can we change the situation in order to find ourselves in Israel? Should we purchase a real estate? My husband, as I can see, will work hard for a minimal payment (it is easier for him), rather than study (although he has a higher education). Should I study? I would like to have a better job than a “nikayon”. But is this possible? Maybe I do not have the potential, and we should not fight and dare in order to spend time, money, strength and energy, and get disappointment in return? Better off is to resign ourselves with what we have, to relax and stop building castles of air. For me it is very important because I am not that young, although not yet old. What should I pay attention to while upbringing my daughter? How to escape the crossroad, on which I stand, in order to understand the meaning of life, and to get closer to spiritual things? Thank you in advance.

Your faithful reader, T.

Dear T! First of all I would like to talk about your material questions, and then pass on to the philosophical ones. Yes, according to your chart, you have a very late child, a daughter, which looks like her father. On the whole, from your chart it is seen (you did not send the birth place of your daughter) that in her life nothing tragic is seen, I see only good things. By the way, you can have another child, a very late child, but it is a possibility. In the upraising of your child try not to concentrate on her, do not spoil her. I understand that for you she is the “miracle of miracles”, you waited for her during 20 years, and gave birth after 40. But I have seen many people with spoiled lives, who were late children. Their parents were very much anxious about them and tried to fulfill all their desires. I think you understand how harmful it is from the spiritual, moral, and physical point of view. Do not deify her! Do not grasp your heart if she has a little fever, or does not have an appetite. Regarding your husband, from your chart it is seen (you did not send me his birth data) that he will become rich. By the time I was making your chart and writing you the answer, he should have started working. Now let’s discuss the fact that your husband does not aspire to study. In your chart Mercury is in its fall, near to Venus and Ketu in a certain house, which shows that in your past life you were able to love only those, who strive for perfection. Therefore in this life you were “given” such a husband, this way helping you to understand that the real love does not depend on any circumstances.

Israel fits you. If you still decide to leave, then your destination should be southern countries, south or Europe, Australia.

You should definitely study, as for the matter of fact, everybody should. But you especially, because your Lagnesha, the beautiful Venus is exalted (exhibits her best qualities) in the house of ambitions and unexpected material deeds. The Sun, which owns the house of real estate, is also exalted. It is said about such a person that he can become wealthy and purchase a real estate by his own endeavors. There are other beneficial combinations, pointing to great potential. You could work successfully in the field of alternative medicine, aromatherapy, for example, cosmetology. You could also sell costly things (jewelry, luxurious furniture, electrical products, etc.). Therefore do not submit! Your rising sign and Moon are in earthly signs; therefore the influence of the element of earth is very strong. It shows that for you it is difficult to change, that you are a hardworking person, able to work long hours for achieving your goals and that it is better for you to live on land in a private house, or on first flour. Also try to make insurance contracts – from your chart it is seen that you will get monetary gain from insurance companies. In 2007 a 19-year beneficial period overall will begin for you. You will change very much spiritually, and will start to grow very fast in a spiritual sense. Now let’s try, by answering a question regarding spiritual development, to bring closer this bright period.

You ask: “How to learn to live by unconditional love in our material world, since we are so imperfect?” first of all you should strive for it, because our life is settled according to the desires that we choose. And our spiritual level is defined according to our prominent desires, and to the motives which rule our lives.

In order to have a desire to live by unconditional love, it is necessary to understand what it is, and why do we need it. Surely, it is difficult to describe in a few paragraphs (one should read about this subject, or just listen to your heart). The vast majority of religions, philosophical and esoteric schools (and in the recent years also scientists) talk about the presence of the soul. We are souls, incarnated into material bodies, who as a rule, are under the influence of a false ego, identifying ourselves with the material bodies: “I am a woman”, “I am a pensioner”, etc. and the more we identify ourselves with material bodies, the more active our false ego becomes, the darker our aura, and the more we move away from God and from all other living beings. The fearfulness grows, and consequently come anger, greed, doubtfulness and criticism. And most importantly- lust, in other words, the desire to have something or someone increases. And this lust in the material world is called love. People say “unfortunate love”. But love is always blissful. Only lust could be unfortunate. What is happiness in worldly sense? It is the fulfillment of desires. Imagine that your entire desires got fulfilled: you have a house, a high social rank, good children and a loving husband. You have achieved the peak of happiness. Further the happiness turns into unhappiness, since you understand that you will loose it. And the greater this happiness was, the more miserable you become because soon it will disappear. For example, you fell in love with a man, and the more you love him, the more you are afraid to loose him, afraid of his cheatings. Then the happiness turns into suffering, a torture, and starts to disintegrate. Such a happiness is not concentrated on love, but on lust. Therefore, such love, where the main stress is not on the Godly, but the human, gives simultaneous burst of hate and fear. It is very important, what we aspire for when we love. If we understand that each moment brings us either closer or further away from God, and if we love God in everything, then everything becomes for us the means, and each moment we become happier. But if we live by lust, either by the desire to unite with the beloved, or to achieve some position, to prolong our lifespan, then the bigger our lust is, the more misfortunes it hides in itself, initially subconsciously, and then in reality. It is also very important to understand that the soul lives by love, and the main energy of the soul is love. The soul can not exist without loving someone, or being loved, it cannot live without giving. It is hardly possible to remember someone, who has everything in material sense, but he us unloved, and does not love anyone, but who is effulgent with happiness. (We do not consider those, who are under the animal level). Because ananda, which means bliss (in Sanskrit), is the quality of the soul. And without love it cannot appear. In order to begin to love by that love, one should renounce the false identification with the body, the feeling of separateness from God and from other living entities, and in this way stop nourishing our lust, fear, anger and greed. Further we should become used to do good deeds for others. The next level- is to live only in the present, not to be anxious about the future, and not to lament about the past, to understand that love is eternal, and is not dependant upon any circumstances. Simultaneously the realization comes that the main feeling, by which the Universe lives- is love. And everything, happening in the Universe originates from love, and serves the goal to bring us back to the Divinity. Everything that happens is for the better! And God does not send us anybody except for angels; provoking in us the ability to accept any person and situation with the feeling of love and gratefulness.

The entire material world is created for the purpose to remind us who we truly are and teach us to live by unconditional love. Your words about you being imperfect and possessing many shortcomings are insignificant in the given question. First of all, from the absolute point of view all of us are perfect; secondly, all we need for developing unconditional love- is strong desire.

I wholeheartedly wish you Divine love and happiness.

Best wishes to everybody!
Ramie Bleckt.